the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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