but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
