i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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