I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
