Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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