Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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