You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
