No stitches, just platelets and will power
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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