is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
