$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
