I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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