STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do vagina's smell?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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