why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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