At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
