woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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