I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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