I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
