I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
