When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
