just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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