We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
