you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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