Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
