im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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