If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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