i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
