just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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