Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
