Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
