We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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