I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
