I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
