At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
