i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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