If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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