I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this just has baby written all over it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
