3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
