you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
