pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
