Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
