I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
