Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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