I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
