Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
