I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
