No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
