Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
