it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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