go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
