Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
