Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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