Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
